Hello, brave fellows willing to admit your complete cluelessness! This is a great step in the right direction, that is, away from being the kind of dudes that women laugh or cry about to their girlfriends. I have decided to write this blog in order to help all those men who do all those wrong things that seem so unnecessarily damning. It occurred to me a while back that I've met so many guys who wouldn't have been bad people but who came off so poorly either on a date or, more often, on their online dating profiles, as to make me run screaming (or laughing)! Are YOU a good guy who can't understand why you keep getting rejected? Read on, Hero.
The first step is to establish a profile, a persona, that doesn't send every single wrong message about you. Seriously, not sending the wrong message is more important than getting across the most accurate, deepest truths about your very being. Online dating requires this exercise but it's valuable to think about this "profile" of yourself even if you don't go the online route. For those of you doing the match.com, e-harmony, chemistry.com, etc. thing, this section applies specifically to you but I think the advice will still be of some use to face-to-facers.
Sit down and start writing about yourself to yourself, in your own handwriting. It's important that draft 1 of this self-search NEVER sees the light of day! So often, it's painfully obvious that a guy spent approximately 45 seconds composing this oh-so-important introduction before braodcasting it to the universe. It shows, guys. It really does. Ever since I started thinking about creating this resource for you, I've continually compiled a list of mistakes men have made in their online profiles.
ONLINE DATING DON'T FOR THE DAY, June 26, 2008
Pictures of you with your shirt off. Don't argue. None. At all. No, not even if it's waterskiing...no, not even if it's from a long the distance...no, no, no. It's tacky. Now, fellas, you may just be as good looking as you think you are. Make no mistake, though; almost no man on earth is as hot as he thinks he is. Women are different. They're self-deprecating, negative, critical of their own appearances to a fault. Few women would ever consider putting semi-nude pics of themselves on the internet. Regarding your semi-nude pics, guys, it's highly unlikely that you look anywhere as good as you think you do but more importantly, even if you're fine as hell, you look like a douchebag to show off in this cocky, misguided manner. It's one of several areas where men make the gross error of assuming similarities between the sexes where none exist. Men might be turned on by a pic of a potential date in her bikini. Idiot men might find such a thing a real plus, a positive omen for the viability of a future relationship with this sexy lady. Women can certainly appreciate a nice set of pecs and biceps but they are never going to seriously date a guy based on body parts alone and they're actually put off by the shameless display. I admit I have gone out with a few guys who committed this sin and included the shirtless pics. I can forgive, pretend they know no better, whatever. It's never worked out even a little. Cockiness is a sad, tell-tale sign of insecurity. Men who are truly secure, who believe that they offer a positive complete package to a deserving woman, don't need to pitch cheap skin-shots.
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